my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I deserve this hangover.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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