Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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