chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
