erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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