does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
