if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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