Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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