I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
