he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
