U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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