just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
