so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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