forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
