He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
