i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
PANTIES FOUND
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