Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
