How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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