Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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