He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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