matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
