You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
