I'm lost and stupid without you.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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