yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you would pick up someone in the library
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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