Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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