Cold hands, warm shart.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
