If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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