i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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