Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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