All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
nutella sex= disaster
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
