I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Do you still have your period?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
