Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
