i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
