I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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