new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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