trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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