id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
