hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
