I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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