Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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