did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
