OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
