yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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