You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
