You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
