If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
