The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
