Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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