i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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