She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
