Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
