Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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